Got a funny third line to add to this? Let us know!
A dog barked (Conway Wigg) ... so loud that his tail turned blue (anonymous) ...
Tuesday 18 December 2007
Where is Jesus?
The highest ranking site on Google for 'Christmas Comedy' is this.
Judging by the quality of the jokes (see example below) it seems like the festive season doesn't generate much humour.
Where Is Jesus?
It occurred to the Sunday School teacher, that with all the emphasis on the Nativity over Christmas that some children may get the impression that the birth of Jesus Christ was a recent event. He wanted to be sure they understood that he grew up and did many things. So he decided that the topic of the lesson would be Where Is Jesus Now?
He put this question to the class and immediately many hands shot into the air as many of the children were keen to state their opinion.
"What do you think Johnny?"
"He's in the church, sir." Johnny replied.
"Okay. What about you Rosie?"
"I believe he's in Heaven, sir"
"That's good. What about you Billy?"
Billy was a little hesitant, then blurted out "I think he's in our bathroom sir."
The classroom erupted with uproarious laughter; but eventually the teacher managed to quell the noise.
"Oh really." said the teacher. "What makes you think that Billy?"
"Well sir, some mornings my dad knocks on the bathroom door and says 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'
http://www.christmas-time.com/ct-comedy.htm
Judging by the quality of the jokes (see example below) it seems like the festive season doesn't generate much humour.
Where Is Jesus?
It occurred to the Sunday School teacher, that with all the emphasis on the Nativity over Christmas that some children may get the impression that the birth of Jesus Christ was a recent event. He wanted to be sure they understood that he grew up and did many things. So he decided that the topic of the lesson would be Where Is Jesus Now?
He put this question to the class and immediately many hands shot into the air as many of the children were keen to state their opinion.
"What do you think Johnny?"
"He's in the church, sir." Johnny replied.
"Okay. What about you Rosie?"
"I believe he's in Heaven, sir"
"That's good. What about you Billy?"
Billy was a little hesitant, then blurted out "I think he's in our bathroom sir."
The classroom erupted with uproarious laughter; but eventually the teacher managed to quell the noise.
"Oh really." said the teacher. "What makes you think that Billy?"
"Well sir, some mornings my dad knocks on the bathroom door and says 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'
http://www.christmas-time.com/ct-comedy.htm
Monday 17 December 2007
The Monday Interview
This week we're talking to Dave Upcraft from Chichester University.
What's your best joke?
Well, it’s sort of the old tired cliche in that I see my self as more of an observationalist comedian. I try and make my comedy out of what’s going on around me. I use the audience and things that happen to me on a daily basis. Still, I have the odd joke in my arsenal. My favourite has to be this...
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
What made you choose performing arts at Chichester?
I chose Chichester because it's a really open course. We go across all aspects of the board, performing, creating, directing, producing etc. Plus, the big winner for me is that I don’t have any written exam! Just performances and coursework. What else could you ask for!?!
How's the course going?
So far, pretty well! I’m only in my first year and just 4 months in. Had a few performances and so on and have essays to write. Still, as all students are aware, Christmas is here and I am living off bread and Iceland frozen foods! Still, 2 weeks of food for £25, that’s why STUDENTS go to Iceland!
How's your comedy performing?
At the moment, I’m looking for the opportunities to perform at uni. Paramount come down once or twice a month and put on a bit of a show with some of the already signed comedy acts. Usually really good but just waiting for the open mic nights and chances to arise after chatting with the SU presidents. Also, starting in January on Friday nights, at Bognor Regis campus of the uni, I’ll be taking part in our very own version of Whose Line Is It Anyway.
Favourite comic performers and why?
I grew up watching Lee Evans and therefore he’s had a huge impact on the way that I perform and my comic background. He’s
just a fantastic physical performer and his imagination is sometimes outstanding. Seeing him next year on his Big UK tour as well!
Also love comics like Bill Bailey, Jimmy Carr, Russell Howard,
Ed Byrne and Omid Djalili because they are all ingenious performers!
Do you see any future comedy stars among your fellow students?
I think that among those who I’m working alongside, there are quite a few people that have a huge potential! There are some people that always have me in stitches and will relish a chance as much as me!!
What's your best joke?
Well, it’s sort of the old tired cliche in that I see my self as more of an observationalist comedian. I try and make my comedy out of what’s going on around me. I use the audience and things that happen to me on a daily basis. Still, I have the odd joke in my arsenal. My favourite has to be this...
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
What made you choose performing arts at Chichester?
I chose Chichester because it's a really open course. We go across all aspects of the board, performing, creating, directing, producing etc. Plus, the big winner for me is that I don’t have any written exam! Just performances and coursework. What else could you ask for!?!
How's the course going?
So far, pretty well! I’m only in my first year and just 4 months in. Had a few performances and so on and have essays to write. Still, as all students are aware, Christmas is here and I am living off bread and Iceland frozen foods! Still, 2 weeks of food for £25, that’s why STUDENTS go to Iceland!
How's your comedy performing?
At the moment, I’m looking for the opportunities to perform at uni. Paramount come down once or twice a month and put on a bit of a show with some of the already signed comedy acts. Usually really good but just waiting for the open mic nights and chances to arise after chatting with the SU presidents. Also, starting in January on Friday nights, at Bognor Regis campus of the uni, I’ll be taking part in our very own version of Whose Line Is It Anyway.
Favourite comic performers and why?
I grew up watching Lee Evans and therefore he’s had a huge impact on the way that I perform and my comic background. He’s
just a fantastic physical performer and his imagination is sometimes outstanding. Seeing him next year on his Big UK tour as well!
Also love comics like Bill Bailey, Jimmy Carr, Russell Howard,
Ed Byrne and Omid Djalili because they are all ingenious performers!
Do you see any future comedy stars among your fellow students?
I think that among those who I’m working alongside, there are quite a few people that have a huge potential! There are some people that always have me in stitches and will relish a chance as much as me!!
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